LemmyComedy Three-Year Plan

I hate Mark Zuckerberg. I hate that he drove me to use the word "hate." I'm an aspiring Buddhist. I abhor violence. But goddamn is Zuckerberg one of the bigger douche-waffles on the planet. He didn't just become worth $200 billion by adding no value to society; a case can be made he became top 5 wealthiest prick in the world by making it worse. 

But I'm getting ahead of myself. 

This website is part of my Grand Three-Year Plan! Once you hear the plan you will immediately think, feels a little ambitious, Lemmy. And you're right. But I'm approaching 60 and people with my last name are not long lived. So, I've got to move fast.

I'm still starting in the middle of the story.

The beginning. I got off the Site Formerly Known as Twitter after the South African Sith Lord took it over and tried to use it in his own Three-Year Plant to rule the world and relegate our democracy to the dustbin of history. I lived. In fact, I felt much better. I avoided Threads (see feelings towards Mark Zuckerberg above), started a BlueSky account, and a year later, realize it's not even a product or service I need. At all. 

The feeling pulled me back from the abyss I've been staring into the last couple years. A year later I thought about what a POS Jeff Bezos had become. Another of Satan's spawn worth over $200 billion, accumulated with the blessing of a federal government that didn't initially require him to collect sales tax, decimating Main Street across America and the local economies those sales tax dollars supported. But I'm a bibliophile. I had a sweet deal buying books from Amazon with an Amazon credit card, racking up credits and piling up books on the cheap. But those books felt dirty, like literary blood diamonds. Would Bezos miss my business? No more than Musk.** But that's not the issue. I was essentially buying my life back, or more to the point, my conscience. 

So now I buy books from brick and mortar bookstores with an online presence, or consolidators that partner with those same stores. And anything else I need on the quick, I buy direct from the manufacturer. It works just fine.

But, I'm still on Facebook and Instagram. As a comedian, I feel tethered to these apps not for promotional purposes, but because that's the app through which bookers reach out to me, and the app I must use to book comedians on my own shows. I hate it. When we talk about "social media" being a cancer on society, we're talking about these two apps for the most part. Besides direct messaging, there is also the creation of reels, marketing of shows, etc. You know, content sharing and "advertising."

Since I brought up "content," let's talk about YouTube and streaming. I still watch a lot of comedy specials. Years in the making, a comedian will drop a dime and self-produce a special to put it on YouTube. Netflix and HBO aren't calling you yet. I've never fully understood the math on YouTube views, but I just googled a scenario (500,000 views) and after YouTube takes its cut, the net makes my stomach hurt. And that revenue is based on advertising in your video. The ad model is a crappy user/viewer experience. Newsflash YouTube advertisers: I haven't sat and watched 2 full ads on YouTube since the beginning of time, and now that every video link you click on starts with an ad, I'm not watching YouTube videos anymore (this is a topic for another time, which is I think social media is going the way of alcohol consumption...people are just...stopping). And Spotify? Yikes. Legendary for stiffing artists. And your money goes to a guy funding the worst military AI applications imaginable.

So, what's the Three-Year Plan. 

Start a website and a Patreon. Every piece of content I would have produced for Instagram or YouTube, put on the Patreon as well. Keep doing both, for a while, slowly making content available sooner on the Patreon. Make the Patreon free for first 1,000 subscribers, and always commercial free. Including, the Podcast! No tiers for content. Just tiers for early adopters. Short videos, vlogs, podcast, blogs, all in one place. Then, as year 3 begins, start winding down the IG and FB pages, just a place holder to refer to the Patreon and a website with swag for sale. Again, dribble out the Podcast to streaming a month in arrears. Once you get to the second tier, $2/month, stop any new content sharing on YouTube, Spotify, IG, or FB. Free your soul!

No one will likely read this, and that’s ok. I’ve been mulling this for weeks, and needed to 1) write it down like a real plan, and 2) launch the website and Patreon that will allow me to do this.

I’m not going to suggest that the fame Louis CK has achieved is even aspirational. But his model, to sell directly to fans, through a list he accumulated in the form of email addresses (PunchUp Live is another possible piece to the puzzle), is undeniably powerful. But imagine instead of selling your content $5 or $30 at a time, a one-time transaction, you just put it all, your shows, your specials, whatever you produce, in one place for a monthly fee less than a cup of coffee. An ad-free experience for fans, and you don't have to worry about being told what you can and cannot say or do as a content creator. 

Anyway…

Peace be the journey,

Lemmy

** Though I could argue consumers canceling Disney channel and other products is what led ABC to put Kimmel back on the air, so who knows…If we all do it?

Blog Post Title Two

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.